Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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