Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
