i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
This couple is walking their pig around campus
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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