oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
