btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
wow bdsm is so cute
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
