i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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