I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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