I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
