you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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