First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
