I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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