omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You did what with his pubic hair?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
