I could have mohawked her pubes.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
