You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This is my gift to your gina
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
