I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
