AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
