too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
