I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
