I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
