her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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