this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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