i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
