the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
