I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
