so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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