Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
