White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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