You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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