Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
