Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
