it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize