I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
