I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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