Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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