You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
