honey bunches of taint.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
