are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I still have a little drunk in my system
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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