she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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