He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
