I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
