Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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