ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
