Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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