bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
