and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize