The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
