why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
