Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
