"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
