Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
