I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize