I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
