oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
then he tried to convert me to islam
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
