My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
