Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
