I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She told me I should be a condom model.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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