In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
