if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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