It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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