bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
