Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
