i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
