ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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