i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
