the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize