I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
