i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize