Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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