Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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