Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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