I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Randomize
